So, in the recent past, 'state of mental being' has caught the fancy of all of us. And why not. When someone as fanci-full as Miss Padukone brings such a topic to fore, it is bound to get everyone's attention. Suddenly, across all quarters, one hears of Depression being the taboo phenomena that people are now beginning to come out of their closets of. Strange though, that the homosexual closet opened much earlier than this one. I guess matters of the head are far more complex than the matters of the heart.
Talking of which, yet another matter of the heart taken somewhat lightly is the state of having a crush on someone. Especially when its someone unattainable. Your boss, a married woman, your watchman, that dog, or just someone who is simply not interested in you. But a crush is a crush is a crush; so what does one do when this (literally) mental state hits and claims an innocent victim?
We just gush and say "awww its just a crush". But is it really that simple? At 34, I must confess I still often fall victim to this horrendous phenomena, yes horrendous it is, just like it used to be even when I was 16. And that's the thing about a crush - it really lives up to 'Age No Bar, object-of-affection no bar'. WTF! It's sometimes almost ridiculous when you look back and think of the various people you have crushed on (if that's even a word). And yet, when its the crush phase, its a really crushing phase.
As I was going through my recent innocent c-rush-hour, it got me thinking though - isn't having a crush same as going through mental illness? I mean beyond the romanticism and cuteness of it, in a very real sense, its yet another state of being that can consume you, shake you up, completely own you, even destroy you. Albeit for that short while only, which is the saving grace because its a crush only if its like a limited period offer. The thin line can easily transform itself into obsession whichis then a clearance sale and not everyone enjoys a wear-and-tear clearance sale.
In fact the more I think about it, I realize actually just how dangerous it can be. Not only is it an animal with no leash, its also like that virus that can keep relapsing. Damn.
The causes may vary but the symptoms are always the same.
- You worry about how you are looking all the time. You try to be at your best every morning, excited about what you and the day will turn out to be. And yet, the morning turns into the afternoon into the evening and you return back dejected because your object of crush didn't even spend that cursory glance at you. Alas!
- You find silly reasons to meet THE ONE. Any excuse and you find yourself in the Chakravyuh that you yourself decided to get into but once there, you are stuck. Stuck with awkwardness, with hitting yourself on the head about the embarrassment of having been so enthu for nothing.
- You gush, you blush, you rush - all of it, all at once. And can you imagine what a fool you must appear to be. Each time. Time after time. Oh dear lord!
- You usually start with trying to appear calm and composed about your crush. You usually begin with roses looking redder, winds blowing sweeter and the universe being your best bud. Im sure this state is what led to the adage "Calm before the storm". Soon you start losing balance, in your head. Conversations with self, desperate desire to be wanted as much as you want him/ her, restless hours - Bah!
As I write this, I realize that while I have crushed on various people and gone through the above symptoms, few have crushed on me too and their state must be exactly the same as mine and yet while being on the other end, I too have ruthlessly ignored the crusher while being the crushee.
Either way, having crushes is great - it makes you love LOVE for sometime but beyond that, I think it needs a serious cure. For all the medical advancement, the few things that still have no cure really is Cancer, AIDs and Crushes. How very morbid of me to allude to an innocent crush in the same bracket as these deadly diseases but ask someone who is going through it - the sweet little crush feels almost fatal!
Of course Im no Deepika Padukone to get this highly sensitive issue into the collective conscience of the nation but if anyone finds a cure for this, do remember to share it with.
Talking of which, yet another matter of the heart taken somewhat lightly is the state of having a crush on someone. Especially when its someone unattainable. Your boss, a married woman, your watchman, that dog, or just someone who is simply not interested in you. But a crush is a crush is a crush; so what does one do when this (literally) mental state hits and claims an innocent victim?
We just gush and say "awww its just a crush". But is it really that simple? At 34, I must confess I still often fall victim to this horrendous phenomena, yes horrendous it is, just like it used to be even when I was 16. And that's the thing about a crush - it really lives up to 'Age No Bar, object-of-affection no bar'. WTF! It's sometimes almost ridiculous when you look back and think of the various people you have crushed on (if that's even a word). And yet, when its the crush phase, its a really crushing phase.
As I was going through my recent innocent c-rush-hour, it got me thinking though - isn't having a crush same as going through mental illness? I mean beyond the romanticism and cuteness of it, in a very real sense, its yet another state of being that can consume you, shake you up, completely own you, even destroy you. Albeit for that short while only, which is the saving grace because its a crush only if its like a limited period offer. The thin line can easily transform itself into obsession whichis then a clearance sale and not everyone enjoys a wear-and-tear clearance sale.
In fact the more I think about it, I realize actually just how dangerous it can be. Not only is it an animal with no leash, its also like that virus that can keep relapsing. Damn.
The causes may vary but the symptoms are always the same.
- You worry about how you are looking all the time. You try to be at your best every morning, excited about what you and the day will turn out to be. And yet, the morning turns into the afternoon into the evening and you return back dejected because your object of crush didn't even spend that cursory glance at you. Alas!
- You find silly reasons to meet THE ONE. Any excuse and you find yourself in the Chakravyuh that you yourself decided to get into but once there, you are stuck. Stuck with awkwardness, with hitting yourself on the head about the embarrassment of having been so enthu for nothing.
- You gush, you blush, you rush - all of it, all at once. And can you imagine what a fool you must appear to be. Each time. Time after time. Oh dear lord!
- You usually start with trying to appear calm and composed about your crush. You usually begin with roses looking redder, winds blowing sweeter and the universe being your best bud. Im sure this state is what led to the adage "Calm before the storm". Soon you start losing balance, in your head. Conversations with self, desperate desire to be wanted as much as you want him/ her, restless hours - Bah!
As I write this, I realize that while I have crushed on various people and gone through the above symptoms, few have crushed on me too and their state must be exactly the same as mine and yet while being on the other end, I too have ruthlessly ignored the crusher while being the crushee.
Either way, having crushes is great - it makes you love LOVE for sometime but beyond that, I think it needs a serious cure. For all the medical advancement, the few things that still have no cure really is Cancer, AIDs and Crushes. How very morbid of me to allude to an innocent crush in the same bracket as these deadly diseases but ask someone who is going through it - the sweet little crush feels almost fatal!
Of course Im no Deepika Padukone to get this highly sensitive issue into the collective conscience of the nation but if anyone finds a cure for this, do remember to share it with.
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