Dude. Where's my Kar(ma)!

I love Karma. And I love the sadhus that coined the concept of Karma. Its such an easy escape button for us Hindus. For anything even slightly bad or wrong that happens to us we immediately point our fingers at the poor innocent Karma tucked away in the corner of our conscience only to emerge whenever blame needs an owner. Didn’t find the right life partner, karma. Born too thin or too fat. Bechara Karma. Didn’t end up becoming as successful as he had wanted to. Come on, its karma duh! Its true, by the way, we get what we deserve thanks to our Karma.

It’s a great carrot and stick mechanism designed to keep us in check. You want something good to happen, make sure you do your good karma. You fucked up big time or small, it’s because of your karma. The only problem is there is a bit of grey around karma payback time period – does it happen in the same lifetime or as “they the learned” say, it’s an account continuing from all our past lifetimes. Which of course brings us to the issue of Life after death because Karma apparently keeps getting carried forward, debiting and crediting and depleting and replenishing every hour, every day, every year and every lifetime. I think it’s a great concept, and helps with looking at the glass half empty or half full – only that it also leads to a convenient escape I think.

I remember the first time I read Many Lives Many Masters by Brian Weiss, it kind of spooked me a bit. I remember that weekend when I was hooked on to the book, lying on the floor in my SNS apartment, unable to put the book down for 2 days at a stretch, and yet at the same time, freaking out by the concept of our soul transiting from one life of fatality to the next (fatality because we live our long lives doing a hundred million things only to know that eventually we will all wither away the same way). It’s scary to imagine what next life has in store considering this one hasn’t really been a bed of roses and won’t be too. And to add to that, imagine the pressure of knowing that the next life is entirely dependent on (1) your karma from your previous lives - which now you have no control over so whatever results will come out of that, you have to live with it literally and (2) of course your karma from this lifetime, which is like walking a thin line in today’s day and age.

Now I don’t know in today’s world, what is good karma vs not. Every time I refuse a beggar on the streets, my heart sinks a little as I think I’ve added some bad karma points to my account. At the same time, in India it is impossible to know when to give and when not to give to beggars as you don’t know if you’re supporting the mafia in doing so or are you genuinely helping a poor. Take the example of drinking – my parents would say it’s bad karma to indulge in hedonistic activities. But hey, it’s my way of unwinding and having a great evening with my friends every now and then. And come on the Gods and the kings and queens have been drinking through history. But if I do so, it becomes bad karma? Not fair. But then its karma.

Lets say a good filter might be bad karma is when you consciously do things to hurt others. Everything else can pass off as no karma or good karma. So then extra marital affairs must be really bad karma. And yet it’s so common now a days (or through history for that matter, especially in our most sacred book of Mahabharata). One school of thought says that in our fast moving, ever changing lives, finding ways of keeping oneself happy and energized is important and understandable and hence when affairs happen, they happen not on the premise of cheating on the other but more from the perspective of finding ways to fulfill one-self (refer Rethinking Infidelity – a (Ted) talk for anyone who has ever loved by Esther Perel). I don't know. I am not judging. I never judge. Who am I to judge at all. But damn, karma is judging us all the time.

Trying to pre-empt karma is like going in for an exam with a cheat sheet only to realize that all questions are from a different syllabus than what you prepared for. And so all you can really do is live your life with whatever you know best and whatever works best for you. The result will be what it has to be. We really have no control over it. Its our karma after all.

Amidst all the grey around Karma, however, one thing I know exists is Karmic relationships. Hasn’t it happened sometimes that you meet someone and there is an instant connect, with no context at all and then sometimes you meet people that you just cannot connect with, even after many times. That’s karmic relationships. It’s just that these karmic relationships can drive you up the wall at times esp since you don’t really know why you like someone so much all of a sudden and why you just cannot bring yourself to like some others. Needless to say, these karmic relationships must be connected to your karma from previous lifetimes but you have no clue of it in this lifetime.

There have been times when I have met someone and felt an instant, deep connection with that person. If it’s a girl I feel an instant connection with, I deal with it fairly easily. But if it’s a man I feel that connection with, it gets all complicated. Whenever I have felt a karmic connection with anyone, I have had this deep urge to get to know that person better. Most times I feel I can pre-empt what that person is thinking, what that person is made of, what ticks the person and what doesn’t, and just knowing this makes me want to know that person up-close-and-personal. I often find myself having conversations with that person in my head (no, Im not mad. Maybe slightly but then these are times when one must remember Alice in Wonderland and its most beautiful dialogue around madness there ever is).

It’s not always possible however to convert your karmic connection into a real connection even if both feel it because this connection can happen at any stage of your life. if it happens at a time when you can do something about it, hey its great karma. If it happens at a time when your life path cannot converge with your karmic partner's, too bad, its your karma. And that makes karmic connections a real pain. I read an article that talked about not confusing karmic relationships with soul mates or life partners. Each of these roles could be unique and need not be fulfilled by one person. And that’s the beauty or the bloody pain of Karma! Depends what you chose to do with it but remember your choice can add or deplete your karma points. But its also true that whatever you choose will be dependent on your karma, on your destiny (which is a topic for a whole different blog - do we really have the freedom of choice or are we fooled into believing we choose while actually all our choices have already been pre-determined owing to our destiny).

Confusion. Confusion. Karma can be a crutch. Karma can be a bitch. Karma can be a carrot and karma can be a stick. What it chooses to be with you is, after all, is your karma!